Legal In the City

Are You Treated Differently At Work Because You Are a Woman?

           

            Do you remember what it felt like to be the last kid picked for dodge ball, or to be the last girl asked to dance at the cotillion classes your mother made you go to?    I do (although I never played dodge ball and never tool cotillion classes). The point is that at some point in our lives and even into our adult years there are certain situations that make us feel less than adequate - like being the only girl without a date to a wedding or being the only employee not asked to attend the after work cocktail hour. Everyone wants to feel welcome and wanted, but should it make a female upset that she is not treated exactly like her male co-workers.

          It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a male employee who has a male boss can sometimes forge a stronger bond than a female employee with a male boss. Take my husband for example, he has a great working relationship with his boss. They often go to lunch to "discuss work" and even talk about things much deeper than work. Sometimes when I hear stories about what they talked about at lunch I wonder whether his boss would have talked about those things had I been his employee instead. I have gone out to lunch with my boss before, but we never get much deeper than our plans for the upcoming weekend. I would like to think that my boss would act the same around me as he would a male employee, but the truth is that he probably doesn't. But should that bother me?

            Just the other day I was at work and a colleague stepped into my office to discuss something business related. Usually when you walk into a person's office to talk about something that not everyone should hear about you close the door. However, when this individual walked into my office he stood in the doorway and didn't shut the door. I told him to take a seat and shut the door and he told me that he never shuts a door in a woman's office and never shuts his own office door when a female is in there. At first I thought nothing of it, but as time went on I began to feel a little upset by his actions. Why didn't he treat me the same as the men he talked to? Was he afraid that I was going to say he harassed me?

            The more I thought about it the more I realized that an interaction between a male and a female at work may give off a different impression than an interaction between a male and a male. Part of me (the feminist part of me) thinks that I should be treated exactly the same as the men at work and should be asked to go do the things that the men do - whether it's going for drinks, having a poker night on the weekends, or being invited out to lunch. But the other part of me (the rational part of me) realizes that men and women only have so much in common. And the even more rational part of me realizes that a female employee having a drink after work with her boss gives off a far different perception then when a male employee grabs a beer with his male boss.

            I think it is important for women to understand that there are differences in the appropriate relationships that a male boss can have with his employees. This can work in the reverse as well. It would be strange to see a female boss asking her younger male employee out for a drink after work. The bottom line is that some interactions just send the wrong impression and we have to be prepared to accept that. We live in a litigious society where one wrong move can land you in court and in massive debt. My point is that in life there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed, and sometimes that may result in slightly different treatment. 

            Now, just because there are limitations to certain interactions at work doesn't mean that you cannot work closely or have a close working relationship with a male boss or a male employee. They key is to always be aware of the perception your interactions with the males in your office, including your boss, send to others. You never want to be known as the employee that only got a raise or a promotion because you are sleeping with the boss (even if you are not). You want to be known as the professional woman who worked hard to get what she has.

Even Female Supreme Court Judges are Treated Differently . . . According to Sotomayor

 

At a speech presented at Northwestern School of Law, Justice Sonia Sotomayor stated that she was treated differently during the nomination process than her male counterparts. Specifically, Sotomayor seemed to allude to the fact that some see her as brash and rude, while if she were a man she would simply be seen as aggressive. Sotomayor also stated that she was asked about her personal dating life because she was not married, and was offended by such questions and believes that her actions with other men are treated differently than the other male justices who bring their "dates" to social functions.

I tend to agree with Justice Sotomayor's opinion. Everyone has an expectation of how women and men should behave, and they are often different. If a man is too flamboyant, he is gay. If a woman is assertive and confident, she is a b***h or is considered rude. It is not that men are the ones who create these stereotypes of how women should behave, rather, it is women who perpetuate this idea. Why should women be treated differently? Should it matter how many dates I have been on compared to another male co-worker? I think not. But it does matter.

It seems that women in a way have to conform to the standards and stereotypes that society places on women if women wantto be successful. It would be very hard, I think, for a woman politician to sleep around and still be successful. However, the male politicians have no problem doing so . . . until they are caught. Women are even treated differently in the entertainment business. It was awful that Lindsay Lohan was doing drugs and ruining her life, but when Charlie Sheen was doing it, he was considered a GOD.

In honor of Woman's History Month, I say that we all try to step out of our comfort zones a little bit and try to be more like men. As they say, be a woman but act like a man. If we want to be just as successful as men and be held to the same standard as men, we have to start acting like men.

xoxo - Legal in the City

Sexual Assault Common Among Female Foreign Correspondents

I am sure many of you have heard about the tragic and brutal sexual assault of CBS correspondent Lara Logan by a mob in Tahrir Square in Cairo. This event peeked my interest in the job of a correspondent and how the female correspondents deal with the challenges in their field, especially the threat of sexual assault,  when reporting  in foreign countries. Obviously these women put themselves in danger to report from the front lines of the most dangerous places in the world, but it seems that female correspondents do not report any abuses that happen for fear of being treated differently than the male correspondents.

After the brutal beating and sexual assault of Lara Logan, many other female correspondents came out alleging that they had also previously been assaulted. But why had they been reluctant to do so prior to Logan's tragedy? My guess is that if female correspondents constantly reported sexual assault of violence directed at them by foreigners in the regions in which they are covering stories, networks would replace the female correspondents with males to lessen the risk of violence or sexual assault. However, this notion is mistaken, as male correspondents are also attached while covering high profile stories in foreign countries experiencing unrest. Even high profile journalists such as CNN's Anderson Cooper, have been threatened and targeted by angry crowds when reporting. According to a Yahoo News story written by Erik Hayden, editors are more reluctant to send a female correspondent into an area where they can be sexually assaulted than they are to send the female into an area where she could be killed.

The most troubling part of the Lara Logan story is that many people are blaming her, the victim, for the resulting beating and sexual assault. Why is it that while these journalists are risking their lives to report the stories that many people take for granted, others are pointing the blame on the journalists themselves? Is Logan at fault for her beating and sexual assault, I think NOT, but some argue yes. Some argue that women correspondents should expect such treatment from "Muslim animals," while others argue that Logan should not have walked into the crowd that night at Tahrir Square. Did Logan deserve to be sexually assaulted because she was pretty and put herself in the situation? Some think so.

Not only does the fact that women feel threatened to share their stories of sexual assault for fear of losing their job to men make me sick, but it makes me disgusted to think that when a woman does share her horrific story of suffering a brutal beating and sexual assault, that people find a way to blame the woman. Despite all of the allegations that Logan brought this upon herself, Logan did a brave and wonderful thing when she shared her story with the world. Not only did she bring the abuse directed towards female correspondents to light, but she showed other survivors of sexual assault that they should not be afraid to tell their story. Kudos to Lara Logan and all of the other female journalist who risk their lives to provide news to the world.

xoxo - Legal in the City